Hanne Blank, Straight: The Surprisingly Short History of Heterosexuality (via insidethesnowglobe)
stop romanticizing the idea of becoming so dependent on another human being that you cannot function adequately without their presence goodbye
"There there, I’m sorry I scared you. *pats and kisses* you’re a good dog, good dog."
"the first disney princess to be crowned quee—"
"the first disney princess to be crown—"
"the first dis—"
let’s try that again
Types of people who romanticize small town life:
- People who didn’t grow up in small towns
#THE LOCALS AREN’T QUIRKY#THEY’RE RACIST
#THERE’S NOTHING TO DO
#EVERYONE’S ON DRUGS
and my U.S. History teacher was trying to get us to understand why it was such a big deal that England had put a tax on colonial sugar, and he goes,
"What if you had to pay a tax every time you logged onto wifi?"
And the whole class just went
and I heard at least two people whisper “I would murder someone”
The perfect comparison.
I took my girlfriend to an improv show the other night and during intermission we were passionately arguing over whether half a 5 Hour Energy shot would give you 2.5 hours of energy or 5 hours of half-assed energy so we turned around to ask the opinions of the three people behind us and one of them said “Are all your arguments like this because we heard you in the lobby earlier fighting over the right way to pronounce ‘egg’?”
"its a metaphor, you see—you put the killing thing right between your teeth, but you dont give it the power to do its killing"
elsa + broken promises
why are 12-15 year olds so obnoxious they roam in packs and they’re so loud for no reason i can’t wait for one of your moms to pick you up and carpool you all away
kids that look exactly like one of their parents are so weird, it’s like they’re the lowercase and uppercase versions of a person
cosplay more like co$play
More like €o$p£a¥
how did you all miss cospay